It’s pretty common for us guys to get the jitters before meeting up with a woman for the first time.
Let’s say you meet a woman in a bar.
You get along great, and you think that she might be potential “girlfriend” material.
You call her up, ask her out, and she agrees.
Well then about an hour before you’re supposed to meet up, you start getting butterflies.
You shower, shave, and check your hair at least five times before you leave to meet her.
After all, there’s a lot at stake here.
This woman is hot, seems to have it together emotionally, and you’ve been single for…well, too long.
You might even be hoping to make her your girlfriend.
AND IT ALL COMES DOWN TO THIS ONE NIGHT.
There are two big problems here.
First of all, most guys don’t date that much.
I’m talking a couple dates every few months, to a year.
Now if you are only going on a couple dates a year, there’s going to be a lot of pressure on you each time you meet up with a girl.
Compare this to a woman’s reality – she gets asked out all the time, and goes on tons of dates.
In fact, she could go out with a different guy each day of the week if she wanted to.
So she is used to it, and doesn’t feel nervous at all.
If she doesn’t like you, she can just not call you back, and move on to the next guy.
Compare that attitude to the typical guy. He is ALREADY convinced that he wants the girl he’s meeting with to be his new girlfriend.
THAT’S JUST NOT REALISTIC.
This attitude stems from neediness. If you only date here and there, you will be extremely needy.
So you’ll feel the need to impress the woman and convince HER that YOU are BOYFRIEND MATERIAL.
But of course, what always happens is this…
The date is awkward and boring, not to mention expensive, and doesn’t end in sex (although you might get a peck on the cheek…awww)
Now let me explain each one of these happens, and how you can change all that.
First, the date is awkward because YOU are nervous. You are nervous because this is the first date you’ve been on in a while, and the pressure’s on to manufacture some chemistry and make her want to be your girlfriend.
Since most guys think that the way to make a woman like them is by trying to impress her and be extra “nice” to her, they PAY FOR THE DATE!
But think about it – you barely know this girl. She hasn’t done ANYTHING for YOU. She isn’t your friend, wouldn’t have your back in a fight, and ISN’T YOUR GIRLFRIEND!
So why would you pay for her dinner, movie, or whatever?
Because you want her to like you.
And don’t give me the old “a gentleman pays” crap. That’s cultural brainwashing at it’s best.
What is a “gentleman”? There’s no such thing. Who is this supposed gentleman that’s going around paying for everyone? He’s just as real as the elusive “Mr. Right.”
It’s a made-up concept that women use as a technique to guilt-trip guys into spoiling them. And it sounds so nice… “gentleman.” Who wouldn’t want to be a “gentleman.”
But what it really means is “pay for everything, be super nice to me even though I’m talking out of my ass and acting like a child, and don’t ever expect more than a hug from me because sex is a chore that I do for a guy if he’s lucky.”
So cut the gentleman crap and GET REAL.
Then you can start having fun (and sex) on your first date, and you’ll have
women ASKING YOU ON ANOTHER DATE.
Let me get into the real ins-and-outs of dating dynamics..
We know that guys focus on impressing women on dates. But ask yourself this:
HOW THE HECK DO YOU IMPRESS WOMEN???
No one seems to have this answer.
Is it money?
Sense of humor?
If I told you to go out on the street right now and impress a woman so that she’d sleep with you, would you know what to do?
Here’s the thing – not only is impossible to know what will impress another human being, simply WANTING to impress them will make them NOT IMPRESSED and look down upon you.
And on top of all that, you shouldn’t be trying to impress someone who literally means nothing to you yet. It just smells pathetic.
Now don’t get me wrong – women will LET YOU take them out to dinner or whatever for a couple reasons.
One – it’s a free meal.
Two – they like the validation. They can brag to their friends about all the guys chasing them and taking them out to dinner. It makes them feel cool.
But if you ask them if they had fun on a typical dinner date, they’ll say, “eh, the guy seemed nice, but there was no chemistry.”
DUH! She was BORED and turned off by the guy trying to impress her!
Unfortunately this leaves a lot of men jaded – they do all this work to GET sex, GET a girlfriend and GET women to like them. But in the end it doesn’t work. So they call women “bitches” or “gold diggers.”
It’s actually guys who force women to act like this. In part 2 I’m going to tell you HOW guys sabotage themselves and how you can instantly start having the fun, relaxing dates YOU WANT, and how to get women to WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU.
IT’S the GUY who ruins the whole dynamic by starting off on the wrong foot – trying to impress her on the date!
Women aren’t inherently materialistic. It’s just that they’ve become accustomed to guys trying to use money to “woo” them.
So they think that’s “how it works.”
Guys use her to win her over, so she begins to think that’s “normal” and how the game is supposed to be played.
Then along comes a guy like me, triggers her attraction at the deepest core level of her being, and she can’t understand why she’s sleeping with a slob like me, when all these rich, good-looking “nice guys” simply don’t do it for her. Mwwwahahaha!
Don’t get me wrong. I’ve had my fair share of BAD DATES…
You could say I’ve paid my dues, and then some.
When I think of all the money I spent, and all the sex I DIDN’T get, plus all the wasted time and all the times I got my hopes up…
Disappointment and frustration.
In fact, I even got MARRIED to the first girl that came along after college. And let me tell you…that was one LONG BAD DATE.
I paid for everything, while she did NOTHING. I worked overtime, and was constantly trying to please her, but the more I did, the worse she treated me.
Yup, even marriage can turn into a never-ending date from hell if you don’t know what you’re doing.
It’s crazy – I almost can’t believe that was me a few years ago.
Now I wouldn’t even say I “date.”
I hang out with women, spend almost NO MONEY, except maybe for a cup of coffee.
Sex is almost guaranteed if I haven’t already slept with her the day/night we met.
And here’s another thing. I have GREAT relationships.
Women pursue me and WANT TO DATE ME!
In fact, most times when I hang out with women, they pay for everything and carry the load of the conversation.
They play the role of the typical guy – trying to impress and “woo” me.
Think about what a powerful paradigm shift that is. I flip the whole damn script!
I think it really sucks for guys.
I mean granted, it’s their own fault for trying to manipulate women by impressing them with money and fake “nice guy” behavior.
But up until recently, there was literally NO SOURCE OF KNOWLEDGE for
guys and what to do instead…
I mean, how often do you see ads portraying a guy at dinner with a woman trying to say the right thing to get in her pants – even ads AIMED AT GUYS like beer commercials.
Actually, ads aimed at guys are ESPECIALLY GOOD AT MAKING YOU FEEL INADEQUATE.
And don’t get me started on jewelry commercials. Just the other day I saw an ad for a wedding ring that said, “Are you man enough?”
Man enough to what? Build a house? Lead a team? Raise a child? Man the grill for a barbecue?
Buy a friggin shiny little rock that costs four-months of your hard earned salary.
To impress a girl who DOESN’T EVEN LIKE IT WHEN MEN TRY TO IMPRESS HER!
I’ll say this before I wrap it up.
Since I stopped wasting my money on women, and figured out how to effectively use my mind to attract the women I want, I’ve gotten my life completely straightened out.
I’ve only been able to get my business going once I got women handled.
Now I’m an entrepreneur, my own boss, successful, doing what I’m passionate about, and helping society as whole.
If I was still obsessed with figuring out women, I wouldn’t have the vision, the direction, the ENERGY to start and run my own company.
When I talk about using my mind effectively, I’m talking about focus, or attention. That’s where it all starts, and that’s where most guys make the fundamental error and sabotage all their chances of getting what they want.
The Pandoras Box starts with your focus, and fine-tunes it so that you can put it where it’s useful, i.e. in a place that will naturally spark attraction in women.
When your focus is in the right place, your state will follow, and will put women at ease, and then lead them into what we call an “arousal state,” or in other words she’ll want to get naked with you.
After that, it’s simply a matter of your behavior – your EXPRESSION.
You will exude confidence in all you do, and women will crave your company
Make it easy, make it natural.
Get your focus in the right place and start THINKING about women and Attraction the RIGHT way, and get Vin DiCarlo Pandoras Box.