I just finished the program [The Pandoras Box] and wow lets just say it blew my mind. I know what to pay attention to now and to think of all those years I wasted trying to impress women with the wrong stuff YUCK lol ,
So now I realize that thats not a useful focus as you guys say 🙂 and I have been really seeing some major improvement in how the ladies respond to me. There’s definitely a new air about me in the office and I have a date with a college cutie I met during my lunch break (I’m in my forties!)
So there’s one thing that was kind of addressed in your book at the end of the story (and by the way that sounded like it was taken a lot from your guys personal lives or was it one of you guy’s story in the words of Patrick?)
So ok I’ll get to it – being good in bed. Whats it take???? I mean I’ve had good sex before and it’s always fun but I feel like it could get much better plus women don’t always have the magic “o” with me even though they seems to enjoy it. Maybe i’m doing something wrong? Or I’m not setting the frame where they are turned on enough…..I think a lot of “game” if you call it that really comes down to feeling like you can please women in bed.
HELP HELP HELP I want to be the best I can in this part of my life!
Ok I’m gonna first reveal something pretty crazy that most guys would never expect.
First of all, before I figured all this woman stuff out, I was married, and shortly after, divorced.
You could say I was a needy, inexperienced nerd and basically married the first girl that thought I was cool.
My woman treated me like crap and I don’t know if she ever actually felt “attracted” to me.
But I did have ONE thing handled…
I was AWESOME at sex.
At least I thought so.
I knew EVERY little trick in the book. I could “go down” like a rabid bloodhound, and had the stamina of a flag pole. I could make my wife (and a couple girls in college) come like no tomorrow.
But guess what – that wasn’t ENOUGH!
Or should I say, that wasn’t what they really wanted.
You see women aren’t looking for an porn star.
They want something else…
And to us guys (who can watch a lot of that stuff) it’s easy to get misguided and think that women want some kind of superhuman performance.
This is simply not the case.
Women in the Real World want a man to be a man, and this begins in your mind.
You see, if you are trying to be “good” at sex, you’ve already failed.
In fact, all the self-help sex guides out there are really turning guys into approval seeking “sex nerds” using sex-techniques to overcompensate for a lack of character.
I’ll let you in on a little secret – the key to sexual mastery is not in being a “master” but instead, being a “student.”
Sounds a bit counter-intuitive, doesn’t it?
Before I go on I want to address one thing: women LOVE it when a guy knows exactly what he’s doing in the bedroom, BUT this expertise can only come from EXPERIENCE, GUIDED by CURIOSITY.
And this is something we harp on so much in our workshops, and cultivate in you in The Pandoras Box.
…But there are two different kind of curiosities.
You see – you can be curious about something so that people will like you, or you can be curious about something so that you can make others feel good.
Now some guys may be thinking, well isn’t making others feel good selfish also, because you do it because they will then give you approval?
Making people feel good is inherently satisfying. Try it!
Most guys approach sex with one of two wrong intentions. They either
a) want to impress the girl with a “good” performance (which leads to a premature finish or an inability to get it “started”)
b) or want to feel a sense of validation, maybe a story to brag to their friends about – a “notch on their belt”
You see, women have sex (USUALLY) because they really like a guy and want to keep him in their life.
You should do the same.
But think about this…
Why would you want to keep her in your life?
What has she done to earn your time? If you are able to approach, engage, and escalate, you should have tons of women trying to hang out with you.
Which begs the question – what makes her valuable, or worth your time…and sex?
Now stop, and think about what I just said. Think about where your mind went, or at least try to follow where my mind went.
If you’ve ever read Maxim’s or Men’s Health’s sex advice, re-read it. You’ll notice that the underlying intention is to make women like you, which adopts the frame that women are better than you.
And whether or not you believe this, guess what – this is NOT the frame that leads to sex.
So STOP IT ALREADY!
Or pretend to stop it and hopefully your beliefs will follow your body.
So being good in bed is really all about intention. From there, you must align
your focus, state, and expression so that all are congruent and you are like a laser beam toward your goal.
As long as your goal (intention) is not for your own personal gain, you will not
only be a powerhouse in bed, but in life.
And as the old quote about bravery goes, all men have the same bravery, some just do it ten minutes longer (or something to that affect).
It’s the same with your intention. Most people focus on others and helping others here and there…
How long can you hold your focus?
Learn how to make your mind an ATTRACTION MACHINE turned on to the MAX like a tractor beam constantly bringing an endless supply women into your life.