I received an email today from a student and my although my response is somewhat controversial, it may provide some insight into the whole “higher value” debate.
…Especially if you’re trying to get good with women but are confused about whether you should be trying to consciously “increase your value” or not.
BACK TO THE LETTER>>>>>>
First of all… love your stuff… especially the Escalation Ladder stuff.
It really rings with me that escalation is the key to putting everything together.
I do have one question though.
What are your thoughts on guys who say that attraction is created through rehearsed “high value” stories? It seems to be conflicting with your theory that through escalation and tension building that attraction is naturally plugged in.
Chasing the dream,
You’ve raised a particularly interesting topic about attraction here.
There are a couple different theories floating around about what creates core attraction inside of women.
My take on this topic is that attraction should be naturally built into EVERY interaction you have.
What I mean is that everyone should feel a CORE magnetic attraction to you and your personality.
The difference between this concept and the older pick-up theories is that instead of talking about how amazing you are… you’re just amazing ALL the time and let it shine through.
Some call this projecting your personality.
I just call it being a man and embracing all the things that make us men.
There are a couple of problems with these brag stories that I’ll go over.
THEY SOUND REHEARSED!
The first problem is that if you memorize and rehearse these stories they will come off memorized and rehearsed.
Instead of CONCENTRATING on the conversation and getting to know the woman you’re interested in you will look like you’re applying for amateur hour drama school.
Always remember that we’re dealing with REAL people with REAL hopes, dreams and emotions.
This isn’t reading off a script to a video game and then either winning or losing.
Always try to keep your head in the moment and in the conversation instead of trying to sort through a stack of super pickup routines.
Be interested in the women you’re trying to get intimate with and your pickups will become more genuine and natural.
IT COMES OFF AS BRAGGING!
That’s why I call them brag stories because no matter how sneaky you can make them… a woman can SEE FROM A MILE AWAY if you’re trying to impress her.
And she’s going to blow you off if you’re trying to impress her by bragging about how amazing you are.
But all these brag-artists have it coming… by trying to BRIBE their way into a woman’s pants with tales of fanciful nights out and star schmoozing.
YUCK. Give me a break.
When the chips are down and you’re talking to a woman… she doesn’t care about if you partied with Joe Rogan or how awesome your bottle service in Mexico was.
She cares about who you are and how you treat that material stuff in your life.
She cares about how you interact with people and how you fit into the social hierarchy… not by talking about it… but by INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE AND DISPLAYING YOUR DOMINANCE FIRST HAND!
LONG WINDED STORIES ARE BORING
Let’s face it, unless the story is about you fighting off jaguars from eating you and your niece who just crash landed your private jet in the jungle, it’s not going to be all that interesting… especially if you don’t know how to tell a story properly.
She’s going to get BORED of hearing it and you’re going to get BORED of telling it all the time.
The solution is small but POWERFUL conversation.
This is even MORE apparently in club environments where there are 1000 things going on behind you that can distract her from listening to you.
What if her friends come along and interrupt you mid story?
You’re going to look like a DORK if you go back to the story… not to mention it’s an extremely needy behavior.
And there goes your entire platinum plated plutonium magic bullet of a story… down the drain.
But if you learn how to converse, relate and display your DOMINANCE… you’ll never have to worry about that because whatever situation you’re in you will know how to handle.
CAN YOU LIVE UP TO YOUR STORY?
A lot of times guys will use OTHER MEN’S stories instead of taking the time to build their own.
So here’s the MILLION dollar question.
Let’s say you get the girl.
And let’s say you wake up the next morning looking at her.
Are you going to be thinking about how beautiful she is and how you can’t wait for her to become a part of your life?
Or are you thinking… “I hope she never finds out I was lying about that trip to L.A.”?
How can you build a relationship with a woman when you’ve built the foundation upon LIES?
Think about it.
IT SETS THE WRONG FRAME
When you start spitting your brag stories out it’s setting the wrong frame.
It’s establishing the frame that you HAVE to impress her and that you think she has some sort of magical attraction gauge that you have to pump up.
The problem with this is that the naturally attractive male doesn’t need to impress other women… they’re too busy trying to impress him… and when they do he rewards them with attention and escalation.
Brag stories are by concept the complete opposite of what you should be doing to become successful with women.
Your magnetic attraction needs to always be on.
It should be assumed that everyone who comes in contact with you will want to stay in contact with you and will view you as a POSITIVE impact in their life.
If you want to know how attraction really works and how to bring out the natural seducer that’s inside of you RIGHT NOW you need to check out my new program The Pandoras Box system.
When I was writing it I wanted it to be a bootcamp in a program. The ultimate at-home transformation tool.
It turned out to be so much more than that.
I truly believe it is the only book you will ever need to change your life for
the better… not only with women… but with people.
At the end of the day that’s what it’s all about… being good with people.
Check it out.
The Pandoras Box System
If you’re still not convinced, you don’t have to listen to me.
Here’s 2 more recent reviews that I got about The Pandoras Box System…
This one was emailed to me:
Just wanted to give you a heads up. I read your book cover to cover on the friday night it came out. I went out the next night for the first time without having anything in my head – no routines, etc. and I ended up picking up the hottest girl I have ever been with. (smoking hot barbie doll look) What still blows my mind is that it was the easiest pickup I’ve ever done and SOLID. Spent 5 hours in the club together, then went out for breakfast.
Had dinner with her the next night.
During the week I ran all your sneaky little text messaging tricks and the following saturday we had sex. It’s now over a week later and she still texts me at least every other day.
Im still in shock over this, mostly because of the types of guys she normally dates. I’ve seen pics and they are all tall, super good looking and jacked on roids – the complete opposite of me. lol But when you understand the personality type, like you say, that stuff doesn’t matter any more. It really only matters if you believe it does.
Whats funny is that I always knew this intellectually, but in the back of mind I always doubted it a bit… like maybe it was just too much airy-fairy positive thinking crap that doesn’t hold up in the real world. But this was the first time I was finally able to prove to myself that it really IS all about your attitude and beliefs.
And I gotta say, this girl has been running some MAJOR game on me. I’m talking like hard-core player shit…she’s definitely a pro. If I tried to use any community lines or tactics like back in the day, she would have have toyed with me just for fun. But because I was straight up, dominant and REAL with her, things are going totally smooth – she’s even hinting that she wants a relationship. Crazy bro.
Just wanted to thank you and Brian for putting that book together. I force myself to re-read it again every week just so I don’t slip back into my old patterns. I think it’s gonna take me a few more months before my brain really integratates all that I’ve learned but it’s only a matter of time before I hit a whole new level.
Anyways, thanks again bro. Best forty bucks I’ve ever spent.”
Read more about the Pandoras Box:
This next one is somewhat longer but very thorough:
“Attraction is not what you do to a woman; it is what you cause her mind to do when you’re with her and in your absence.” -Vin DiCarlo and Brian Pettit, The Attraction Code
If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you are fully aware of my admiration for Vin DiCarlo. Before I took his DiClassified Drills bootcamp, I was a lonely little rowboat, lost in a sea of seduction products, conflicting advice, and unconscious insecurities.
Sure, I was getting laid with the teachings of M******y, D**** D****, S******t and the rest, but only infrequently and barely. When I think back over the past year since I’ve taken the bootcamp, my progress has been nothing short of amazing. I went from trolling for one night stands to having double lay reports. I went from struggling to hold onto women to now struggling with letting them go when they don’t meet my standards. No, I’m not yet dating the supermodels of my dreams, but I am fully aware of and appreciate how much that bootcamp sent my game to new heights. Hell, I even gamed the receptionist at an RMV yesterday and skipped ahead of 60 people in line. This stuff is no joke!
That said, I am an independent thinker and I am not affiliated with DiCarlo DiClassified. I’m merely a huge fan, which only makes me a tougher critic. I have high expectations of their products and will come down hard if they start to slack off.
While I fully admit where I’m coming from, rest assured that I’m going to tell it like it is with my review of Vin DiCarlo’s new and only e-book, The Attraction
Code. Brian Pettit, whom I also admire, co-wrote the book.
The Pandoras Box is the most important, comprehensive, and effective book on pick-up I’ve ever read. It’s the most important book on seduction written since Neil Strauss’ The Game.
Yes, it’s that damn good. Why is it good? The authors break things down to the absolute fundamentals that are inherent in any successful PUA. There are no techniques, mantras, or absolutes. They don’t teach you how to act like a certain type of seducer to get women. They teach you how to develop the mindset of an attractive, sexually powerful man.
In the book, natural game is defined as truth – the truth that everything you need to attract the women of your dreams are already within you. You just have to recognize and eradicate the self-defeating thoughts that are getting in your way. You have to harness your own gifts and have the courage to unleash them. Fundamentally, your thoughts are what make or break your results.
What I respect the most about Vin is that he’s such a thoughtful PUA. Just when I think I have it all figured out, he releases something that fundamentally challenges my beliefs and compels me to dig deeper. When I read on the Pandoras Box website his argument that inner game is not only unnecessary, but may get in your way, I balked. My inner game work has helped me on several levels, including my profession, my education, and all of my relationships.
After finishing the book, I have a deeper understanding of what he and Brian are really saying. People who work on their inner game fall into the same trap that befalls people who study outer game. They read book after book, take bootcamp after bootcamp, and continually work on themselves as a way of postponing taking action on this area of their lives. Rather than becoming a vehicle of self-improvement, their inner game work becomes yet another shield to hide behind. Change is scary and dealing with women can be petrifying. Yet at the end of the day, you have to man up and take action to change your life.
I’d agree with the authors that having the right mindset is indispensable to seducing women. However, I’d also argue that a strong inner game is crucial to seducing high quality women. It’s true that confidence is not necessary to attract women. There are plenty of self-hating men out there who can score with chicks. They just don’t hide their sexuality. However, they attract what they put out there: women who are as messed up as they are. As another example, if you recall, the first few months after the Drills bootcamp were both exciting and frustrating for me. I got plenty of lays but with low quality women whom I couldn’t hold on to. I was needy and insecure and those are exactly the types of women I penetrated all last summer.
Nowadays, I’m attracting women who move me on a deep level and challenge me to become an even better man, yet I could only have met them if I had the inner game to radiate those qualities that drew them towards me.
I especially enjoyed a section in the book that lays out the fundamental concepts that underlie the DiClassified Drills bootcamps. Having been through one of them last year, it was fascinating to see the thoughtfulness and ingenuity that went behind each drill, which is designed to keep you focused on your goal (sex, relationship, or whatever it may be) even in the face of situations or events that challenge your emotions. If I were to pick one flaw in my game, it’s still in this area.
Too much of my success depends on my mood. If I’m in a good mood, I’m on fire, getting plenty
of free meals, attention, and sex. If I’m in a bad mood, forget it. My next pick-up goal is to train my focus so that my attention is impervious to outside “state frictions.”
(A state friction is merely anything that threatens your emotional state. Read more about it in the book).
The strength of the book is also its weakness. When I bought the book, I was afraid that it’d be designed for newbies and more seasoned PUAs like myself would once again be ignored. On the contrary, this book is actually better suited for the intermediate and advanced. Experience out in the field will deepen the knowledge you acquire from the book. There were many times as I was reading when I told myself,
“yeah, that jives with my experience!”
“Oh, so that’s why such and such went down like that.” It’s both a summary of
everything you need to know and an eyeopener of how far you need to go.
At the same time, I wonder if newbies will truly understand these concepts or if they will fly over their heads. When I finished the book, my first thought was, “Damn! If I had this back in 2001, I could’ve avoided so many mistakes and so much pain.” Then again, I probably would’ve read it and thought to myself, “huh?!” Comparing this book with Double Your Dating, which I actually did read back in ’01, I’d go for the quick fix.
Cocky and funny is easier than training your focus. The book offers no
shortcuts, just a broad roadmap. You have to take action.
Don’t worry though. The DiClassified crew included plenty of extras to assuage newbies.
Up at the top of the list is the DiCarlo Escalation Ladder, 2nd Edition.
The first edition revolutionized my game and the concept of kino. How do you improve on perfection? Well, not much. This new version is essentially
the same, except it includes many nuances involved that I had to learn the hard way while in field. If you’re a DEL fan or continue to struggle with kino, this e-book is a must have.
Next, we have No Flakes, which is another must have. This book was previously available to David DeAngelo’s Interview With Dating Gurus subscribers but here it is in all its glory with much nicer graphics. This book truly is a product in of itself!
You can’t always get same night pulls. More often than not, you have to get her digits and set up a future meeting. If you’ve ever struggled with flakes, this e-book is for you. Hint: texting and intrigue are the way to go…
Next, we have Secrets of Sexual Tension, which is definitely another must-have for newbies. Much of this material was covered on a much more comprehensive and deeper level in the drills bootcamp, but if you’re strapped for cash, this e-book is the next best thing. These concepts along with Gunwitch and Daniel Rose’s Sex God Method gave me a solid foundation to build the Dicknotist philosophy. If you want rapid pulls and to have women fingering themselves while thinking of fucking you, this book’s for you.
Next up is Objection Game, an e-book aimed at addressing the five most common objections women have to having sex with a new guy. I won’t list them, but you probably already know them.
This e-book is an extension of a blog entry Vin wrote several months ago on the same topic. The blog seems to be down, but luckily, he saved this valuable piece and expanded on it a bit. This is one of the few times where my experience actually contradicts his teachings. Ever since implementing what I learned in Sexual Selection Switch, I’ve found that my LMR is virtually non-existent. With the exception of one girl, all the rest I banged last year jumped me! Granted, my pulls are from cold approaches, not social circle game where these concepts may be more applicable.
This e-book may be useful for newbies or people who can’t afford s-cubed. Ironically, s-cubed makes this e-book obsolete.
The next addition isn’t a full book, but merely a chapter in Jay Cataldo’s Get Your Girl Back. I have no idea who he is and why this extra was included in the package.
The very premise seems to go against what Vin teaches. Shouldn’t you be flipping the Sexual Selection Switch and have her dying to fuck you? Why are you trying to get her back? If you’re doing everything correctly, you wouldn’t lose her in the first place. I skimmed this one and I regret doing even that much.
Next, we have a free one month membership to Vin’s Mastermind group, which appears to be an ongoing training for natural game students. It’s $67 a month, which is pretty steep for a monthly membership, but worth it if it gives you much value. There isn’t too much up on the site yet except for a few recordings, a forum, a chat, and
forum archives of DiClassified trainers. I hope they develop a way for subscribers to download mp3s. As it stands now, you have to listen to it on your computer, which makes things more difficult because some of the recordings are quite long. For iPod lovers like myself, I’d much rather listen as I drive or workout. So, things are sparse now, but I’m sure things will pick up rather quickly.
The last extra only went to the first 99 orders and luckily, I am one of them! I haven’t had my call yet so I can’t comment, but I have high expectations. Stay tuned….
The final selling point of the whole package is not only a money back guarantee but the ridiculously low price of $37. Vin is probably the only guru who underprices his products (except for the Drills bootcamp and the Mastermind membership).
I remember getting Dating Diablo for $45 when a selling price of $200 would have been justified. I still listen to it monthly to “drill” his teachings into my forgetful head.
So, $37 makes this book an obscene steal and worth checking out, given the amount of value included in the package. Now, if he would only release something detailing
“Pimp Game” in more detail… ”